Friday, June 17, 2016

Hey Christina Grimmie. \|/

Hey girl! I will be talking about the random thoughts going around in my mind, and I really hope you like it!

Pardon my horrible attempt to imitate your video intro. I never really got the chance to talk to you, so here is me trying to do it in a written form. How are you? I hope you are doing well. At peace, to be more precise.

Wow, this will be tough.

This will be a long brick wall of texts. I've been thinking a lot for the past, I don't know, 48, 72, 96 hours? I've lost track of time. There are just so many things in my mind, and I have to talk to someone. I am bad at talking, so this whole thing will all be here and there, unorganized and most probably not mean a damn thing for anyone. I am sure you would listen to me and appreciate it, though.

I am pretty sure you are confused as to what is happening right now, and why you are being showered by thoughtful prayers and kind messages. You had been telling us fans for years on how our support and ourselves meant so much for you, and now we are letting you know how much you mean to us. Just so you know, the whole world is celebrating you and your wonderful life and career. You opened up to us, as in such a short period of time, you pursued your dream, achieved a lot of success and inspired countless, myself included, to do what they love and never stop doing it. Your videos and music touched way more hearts than any could ever imagine, with great meanings and relatable stories.

I hate using past tenses on you.

Okay, you probably have already known by now. Even if you weren't aware of what had happened, I'm sure most of those prayers I talked about earlier have made it pretty clear. I myself was and still am having a hard time understanding and accepting this, but from what I've learned, here's how it went.

2016, June 10th, Plaza Live, Orlando, Florida. You were performing with Before You Exit. Right after, you went to sign autographs for roughly 120 fans. Among them was Kevin Loibl. It was his turn to meet and greet you. As you were accepting him with open arms, enthusiastic to give another one of your fans a hug, he suddenly pulled out a gun and shot you three times, at least. Some said you were shot in the head, I don't know. Your big bro, Mark, tackled him down. Amidst the struggle, Kevin shot himself in the head, taking his own life in the process. Chest compressions were administrated on you in attempt to save your life, and shortly after you were taken to the Orlando Regional Medical Center in critical condition.

Some time early June 11th, you were announced dead. At the age of 22 years and just a day short of 3 months old.

Yes, I am trying to talk to a dead person in written form.

That was insensitive. My bad. I knew you as a humorous girl with a wonderful comical sense, but I don't know if you were into dark humor. Worth a shot, I guessed. Let's not do that again.

Now, I can't speak for the rest of the world, but as we are celebrating your life and career that were sadly cut short, I am also saddened, mourning and grieving over your death. Going to sleep drenched in tears every single night, hoping that I would wake up tomorrow morning and this would all be just a very long, scary dream. But no, it really happened.

Am I being foolish by mourning and grieving for someone who have never even met me? Be honest.

There's a 12-hour difference between the US and my hometown. If it's Monday 10:00 pm over there, it would be Tuesday 10:00 am where I'm living. That being said, I woke up late in the afternoon on Saturday, my time. Around 3:30 pm, I would guess. First thing I checked was Twitter, and I saw a tweet by Chrissy Constanza of the band Against The Current ranting about securities in small concerts or something along the line. She has since deleted the tweet. Anyway, I didn't give much thought about the tweet at first, but I checked out her profile anyway.

"I can't even process this. I'm so sorry @TheRealGrimmie. This is too f*cking close to home," she tweeted.

I censored the bad word. I take it you didn't cursed much, did you? I respect that, so I won't. Throughout this little talk, I will refrain from using bad words.

Anyway, Chrissy continued in another tweet, "God, what the f*ck is happening?"

Now I'm using God's name in vain. Great. I've been racking up a bunch of negative points with you so far, haven't I?

Anyway (again. Told you this will be long), I was getting worried, but just a tad bit. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right? My most extreme thought at that point was, I don't know, maybe someone jumped onstage and groped you or something? I mean, sure, that's messed up, but certainly it's not too bad, right? So I typed your name into Google, and the first suggestion that popped up still haunts me to this day.

"Christina Grimmie died" was the top suggested search term.

Whoa.

Nahh, that's gotta be a prank from years before. You know, like that time when those online trolls would make something like "RIP Lady Gaga" trend worldwide? Yeah, like that or something. Screw that. I Googled your name. You know, hatred is not cool, but I really strongly disliked the vibe that the top search result gave me.

"In the news: Former Voice contestant Christina Grimmie shot dead in Orlando - BBC News."

All of a sudden, I was seconding Chrissy's tweet. "What the hell is happening?" was repeatedly ringing in my mind, in my heart. It is the fasting season for Muslims, but my stomach is twirling like crazy, and it's not because of the lack of food.

It hit me so hard. Not instantly, not then and there, but slowly and painstakingly, it hit me hard. It is still hitting me to this day. And I didn't (still don't) understand anything that happened, or anything that went awry in my mind. The whole situation was unreal. It couldn't be real. It's like leaving a room in the coziest form ever, and coming back a minute later with just too many things misplaced. No, it's not even like that. I don't have the right words in my vocabulary to describe what it was like.

If I'm not mistaken, reports claimed that you were shot around Friday 10:30 pm, Orlando time. Orlando Police confirmed your death in a tweet Saturday 2:51 am.

It bothers (present tense, see?) me so much that I never get to meet you, to talk with you, to laugh along with you, to watch you perform, to applaud you in person, to just see you and your cheerful, happy, outgoing, overall lovable character with my own two eyes, even from a distance, and not just through your Youtube channel, and to thank you and tell you how much I appreciate you. But to not even be able to pray for your life in the very most dire moments of your life? It hurts me so much. It pains me. It discombobulates me. It eviscerates me. Gut-wrenching. So wrenching.

I am so sorry.

I know you would tell me to not be sorry. You were the most... I don't know. I could muster up all the positive adjectives I've ever known into a ball to describe your heart, and it would not do you justice. You are one of the most beautiful hearts that I ever have the pleasure to know. Ever. Your faith makes you one of the strongest human beings in the world. I know for a fact that you are okay with everything happened. God loves you more than any of us. If God wants this to happen, then this is the best thing that could happen. You wouldn't be sorry, you wouldn't regret a single thing, and you wouldn't want us to regret or feel sorry. I just can't help but to be sorry. My heart aches and breaks for you. I'm sorry.

Let's brighten up this talk a bit, okay? Let's talk about how I got to know you.

Every time I watched any videos, your "Party in the USA" cover would pop up in the recommended section. I would be like, "What? zeldaxlove64? What a goofball. Who listens to Miley Cyrus anyway?"

Yup, I don't play Zelda. I have never played it. To this day, not even once. I know, there goes all of my credits as a human being. What have I been doing all my life?

I don't really remember why I decided to give you a chance, but some of your videos I watched first were the "Grenade" and "Rolling in the Deep" covers. And I immediately fell in love. You were a vocal powerhouse! So amazing! The way those fingers of yours were hitting the keys. I was so amazed. The covers were far from perfect, though, but that's what attracted me to them the most. You were pitchy here and there. You played the wrong chords, hit the wrong keys. Your imperfections won me. I'd take you over all those over-produced covers in a heartbeat! Since then, you were my go-to Youtube artist.

And no, that Sonic poster on your wall was not one of the reasons I loved you. I never played Sonic either. I know, I know.

Sadly, "over-production" was one of the reasons I never watched your "Just a Dream" cover with Sam Tsui. I grabbed onto it though after that horrible incident the other day. So rad. I should've watched and listened to it years ago. Another thing is I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was when you did the Paramore medley. I am a huge fan of theirs.

Oh, and before I forget. The Hair Tutorial! That's when I first saw you as a cool person to be around with, without even being around you. Your puffy hair, "The Poof", "The Grimmie" as you jokingly calles it, was definitely one of the main reasons I became a fan!

I'm not making a run to be your number one fan or anything. I'm as casual as a fan could be. Over the past couple of years, I have been quite estranged from your Youtube channel. Whenever you popped on my subscription box, yeah sure, I'd click and give it a watch. But if I missed it, I wouldn't try to catch up with it. I mean come on, I subscribed to over 100 channels, and yours starts with a "Z". I would have to scroll down to the very bottom to find it. But I did, however, vote for you in those contests you're in. The Coca-Cola one, the IHeartRadio one, yeah. In fact, you followed me on Twitter because I voted for you on the IHeartRadio contest!

You took your time responding to my tweets and even followed me. You didn't have to, but you did anyway and for that, I am forever grateful. Sorry for spamming your Twitter feed with a bunch of wrestling stuff! You were such a personable human being. You had always stay grounded. You were awesome.

I was so happy when I found out that you auditioned for The Voice. Four chair turns, so sick. I don't really watch TV, but I kept up-to-date with your progress and ripped the iTunes release of your performance off of Youtube (I'm such a cheapskate), up until you secured the 2nd runner-up spot. I was so happy for you. Finally, it's happening. You're taking over the whole music industry! Surely nothing could go wrong.

Well, something went wrong, alright. So wrong, in fact.

I want to elaborate on the things I love about you, but this has already been a lengthy post, and I haven't even begun to talk about the things bothering my thoughts in recent days (minus the whole "sorry" part, but you feel me). So let's go. We'll get back to this somewhere down this post, I bet you.

Now, back to the gloomy bit. Your death.

The absolute worst happened to one of the best things in my entire life this past weekend. I'm not saying this because you're no longer here. I mean it. You were one of the best things in my life. The most talented artist of this generation. Too late for me to realize all this, I guess. It's true what we've all been saying again and again, "you never know what you've got until it's gone".

I just can't help but to think of your family at this time being. I know they are just as faithful and strong as you were and they are probably doing okay by now, or at most some time soon. But it must be horrible for them. I'm not going to pretend like I knew you so well, but I grew up constantly watching you and you opened up so much to me, and it's impossible to not feel so close to you. These probably aren't the best words to describe how this whole thing bothers me way too much more than I would have ever expected, and I didn't expect anything like this to happen at all, but I hope you understand that you're just as important to me as, if not way much more than, all your fans meant to you. And I'm not even remotely related to you. I can't imagine how your family is feeling. I'm really sorry for them, and for you.

I will never be a mother. Hell, I am so far away from even being a father. However, I know for a solid fact that no mother should ever be in the unfathomable position of having to bury her daughter. Especially not one who has lived through breast cancer three times and is witnessing her daughter living her dream. Plus, your mom was absolutely not okay with you putting videos on Youtube at first. You mentioned in an interview, she used to tell you to get off the internet before some creepy man comes and tries to track you down. I know she's a woman of faith, like you, and I'm sure she'll get through this just fine, but it's really hard to imagine how rough she's been feeling. Regardless, my heart goes out to your mother, Tina.

And for a brother who had to witness his sister's death and the killer's suicide up-close, that's just so messed up. Mark's actions were absolutely heroic, and despite his efforts you still died. He must have felt so powerful, then so powerless. No matter how well he responded that day, at some point he must be thinking, "I should have been paying more attention". Yes, he couldn't have known it, and he couldn't have done more, but this whole situation would always haunt him. Seeing videos of him at your vigil makes me believe that he is at a great peace right now.

Not taking anything away from your father, Bud, who was the one encouraging you to put up your videos online in the beginning. And the rest of your whole family, and your friends, and fellow fans. This is all just one big ball of horrible mess.

And you. Why would anyone wanna do such horrible thing to you? For all I know, you were just one kind, faithful, beautiful human being who was doing what you have always loved doing. A wonderful daughter and sister, a best friend to many, and a tremendous role model to everyone, young and old. And I did not just refer to a physical beauty by calling you "beautiful". I'm talking about mental beauty, spiritual beauty, honestly, your whole character and characteristics were built up of millions and millions of the very common denominators of beauty. And you were so talented, and so humble, and so young. So young! A heart as pure and as faith-fueled as yours does not deserve to stop beating at 22. With every bit of honesty that I could ever possess, you should have outlived me by at least 40 years, even if I am to be blessed to live long enough and be 100. You're almost too good to be real.

You were too good to be real. I guess that's why your death seems just so unreal to me.

This whole mess, it hits me so hard, but the fact that you're no longer with us hasn't hit me yet. I would be hearing your songs, your voice in my head every now and then, and innocent thoughts would randomly pop up, like "I can't wait to one day meet you and personally thank you for making all this great music", "I wonder what your next cover will be", "you will conquer the music industry one day, I promise you"... Every few minutes I would have to take a couple of deep breaths, as I am reminded that you are no longer here and I would feel so gutted. It's almost like living in a huge body of water, only to drown every few moments and be forced to swim up and suck up all the air my lungs could ever contain, and repeat. No, it's worse than that, I believe. Take that feeling, a multiply it by a larger factor, and multiply it again. It is horrible.

You had so much potential. I didn't idolize you that highly, and I've had many other bigger idols passing away over the years. I am a huge pro wrestling fan. Some of my favorites were Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and Daniel Bryan. You probably didn't recognize any single one of these names. Eddie died of a heart failure, Chris sadly took his own life after murdering his wife and son (okay, probably not the best example here), while Daniel is still living healthy but was forced to retire due to severe post-concussion symptoms. All these men left their industry (and excluding Daniel, the world) after hitting their prime, after winning the world championship, after having their huge WrestleMania moments (WrestleMania is pretty much the Superbowl of wrestling, but on a global scale). But you? You were way too far away from your prime. You'd barely even started. You had ridiculously so much unrealized potential. You worked too hard, only to have it cut short. No, not just your work, and not just your potential. Your whole life was cut short. It's not fair. It's simply not fair.

How exactly did Kevin get a bag carrying not one, but two guns, plus two fully-loaded magazines and a hunting knife, past security? And why would he do such thing to you? Why would anyone even have the slightest thought of doing such thing to you? You're not even controversial. All you ever did were putting your own amazing twist on already famous songs, writing some awesome, meaningful and relatable songs of your own, and entertaining and inspiring millions of followers and subscribers.

There are some theories going around about why Kevin did this. One, because he was a super crazy fan who really wanted you. It's either the classic "If I can't have you, no one will" story, or the "Now that you and I are dead, we can finally be together" one. Either way, it's creepy. Theory two, he killed you because you were publicly known and identified as a devout Christian. So it could be a religion thingy. Regardless of his motive, I am quite positive that you are not angry or even slightly pissed off with him. You were a girl of faith, and you believe in forgiveness. Everyone is calling him a coward, throwing dirty words and expletives on his name, but I haven't. I'm sure you would forgive and even feel sorry for him that he didn't get the help that he desperately needed, and accept this as a fate that God has decided for all of us. That's how faithful and kindhearted I truly believe you were. Just another reason I'm so upset that you're gone. And if you wouldn't be mad, how could I bring myself to hate him?

A heart of a woman, and a faith like a child.

And speaking of faith. When it comes to my religion, I am quite ignorant. I am pushing so hard to be better, but I'm barely progressing. At one point in my life, I was almost hitting the very rock bottom. Around that time, you came to my life. Above and beyond your massive love for music and video games, was your love for Jesus. Your faith. You loved Jesus. Until your last breath, you sang for Jesus. I was so enamored of your faith. It's not about religions, it's not about good deeds. It's just pure faith. While I am fully aware that we believe in separate entities (I am a Muslim and I worship Allah, while you were a devout Christian), I have always looked up to your faith. It is the biggest reason I adored, idolized and loved you, and by God I mean this, I still and will always love you. You made me see how faith is so important in our lives. You gave me hope in your own unique ways. You embodied faith. You personified faith.

I once discussed the difference between jealousy and envy with one of my best friends. We agreed that jealousy is "Wow, he has that thing. I wish I could have that, too", while envy is "Wow, he has that thing. I should have that, and he shouldn't". We agreed that while envy is a huge sin, jealousy could be good. It makes you want to better yourself. And that was what I have over you. Jealousy. I wish I could have a faith as strong as you. You changed the way I see this world. I am so far away from being even a fraction as faithful as you, but you helped me find faith in my darkest days, and I couldn't thank you enough for that.

You might not be a literal angel, but you will always be an angel to me. Sadly, I didn't get to thank you in person, face-to-face, and it's a regret that I will bear for a very long time, but I still want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

These are my thoughts, and thoughts are not facts. I could be wrong anywhere throughout this post, so I hope I'm not being blasphemous or anything of that extreme by saying all this.

I don't know how God works. [REDACTED] Just as much as you had me and the rest of your fans in your prayers, I will keep you in mine.

Now, let's talk about some other random things. Hopefully, it will help me get over your death.

I love how you purposely misspelled words. Like how you'd spell "yu" instead of "you", and "rawwk" instead of "rock". My favorite, though, is how you spell "fans" as "frands". It's the term of affection you used to abridge the rift between us fans and yourself. You thought calling us "fans" would be degrading, like "Oh, I'm on a pedestal". You were so thoughtful, so down-to-earth, so personable. Your two feet were always on the same ground as everyone else. Such a ridiculously commendable quality.

Speaking of commendable qualities, I have been binge-watching your videos for days. Can't help but to notice how all your videos contain phrases like "Hey guys!" "Hope you guys like it! "Bye!" Sure, it's like a systematic plot for all your vids, but you sounded so sincere every single time. Sincerity is so underappreciated these days.

Can we stop and appreciate the Triforce of Christina for a second? Food, music and video games, and above all, all these connected into one - Jesus. It does not sound corny at all, silly. I'd replace video games with pro wrestling, and Jesus with Allah for my Triforce. Wait, Triforce is a Zelda thing, right? Remind you, I never played Zelda. I know, I know.

You would be so happy if you could see your Wikipedia page right now. Some people took their time re-organizing everything, and it looks too sweet. If we could close one eye on things like "Christina Victoria Grimmie was an American singer and songwriter" and the whole "Death" section, it would be perfect. Now, I wonder, had you ever checked out you own Wiki page, or Googled your own name? Be honest.

I love the Rawwk Finger introduction video. I'm not sure if it trended, but I'll surely be throwing it on a daily basis from now on. \|/

I just made a special playlist, with all your officially released songs, plus almost every song you had put up on Youtube. I had to rip a lot of videos off your channel and convert them to mp3 files. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't mind me doing that. I remember you told us that you uploaded your albums on Youtube and Spotify to allow us who couldn't afford them enjoy them. I had to search far and deep for the covers you set to private, but another Youtube user has uploaded all your covers on their channel and made it pretty easy. I left out some of your Christmas songs for religious reasons (you'd understand, above anyone else), and included your "With Love" performance at The Voice season 7 because it was phenomenal and just warms my heart. I had to balance the audio level of each video and cut some parts, and I was left with 8 hours, 28 minutes and 54 seconds of tear-jerking music. Why did I do this to myself? Oh, the playlist was purposely comprised of 149 songs, with the number 149 representing the phrase "I miss Christina". Am I the sweetest human being in the world or what?

Does posthumously talking to you make me as much of a creep as Kevin? I hope not.

Was that dark humour? Darn it. I thought I said we weren't doing that again.

A direct quote from you: "I'm a very strong believer. I grew up in the church. I grew up having a belief in Christ, and I do. But it's a relationship for me, you know. I take it very seriously. I've never really been that kind of person that wants to shove it in your face. You know what I mean? That doesn't mean I don't like to live it out, because obviously I do, but I've never been like "You have to believe what I believe!" You know? I just speak on it and then, like, just kinda leave it up to God at that point. I'm not like, "I'm trying to sell you something!"" One of the main reasons I will forever love you. I hope I can be at least half as faithful as you, with respect to my religion.

Let's keep it random, shall we?

Your favourite foods were ravioli and your mum's chicken pot pie.

Your final video ended up being the one where you convinced people to join you in support of the HSUS in the Charity Champions League. You really loved animals, didn't you? I hope Chloe's doing fine.

You would take a sweaty day over a freezing day, any day. I guess we are polar opposites, then. Hah! Get it? "Polar"? "Freezing"? ... I'll see myself out.

Just got word that your funeral will take place at the place you family had always attended before you moved to LA, the Fellowship Alliance Chapel, on Friday, June 17th. Exactly a month before my 23rd birthday.

Oh, speaking of final videos. Your final cover on Youtube was "Let It Go", a collaboration with Before You Exit. Eerie. But then again, most of your covers and even original compositions have words that would sound so eerie today. I'd talk about them, but you knew your own words better than I do.

You thought guitar was the instrument you're least good at. Hah, funny. That's the one I'm most good at, but to this day I only play power chords. At one point, you inspired me to record myself playing along to songs and put it up on Facebook. Thankfully, I have deleted all those videos and no one has to suffer through watching me playing in front of my super crappy quality mobile phone camera again. By the way, I think you were a far better player than me.

Green and orange were your favourite colours.

The biggest piece of advice your dad has ever given you was "Never be embarrassed or afraid to be single".

I always speak fondly of those who I truly adore, especially to my mummy. And I told her about you. See where I'm going with this? "I have never ever met a girl that made me feel the way that you do... So I went to tell me my mama about you." Hah! See what I did there? That was clever and quite smooth, admit it.

I don't care what anyone else says. "With Love" is the greatest pop album ever. I love the old school vibe. Too bad it's just your first and only full album. You titled your final EP "Side A" because it would mean that a "Side B" was likely to follow. You also wished to release another full album by the end of this year. Oh, to think of what could have been.

Your nose flared when you sang? I never noticed.

Another direct quote: "What I'd like to do in my career is just inspire people to be great in anything that you so choose. To be good role models too, and that's actually one of my main goals. I want to be a very good role model for people. I mess up here and I mess up there, but at the end of the day, it comes down to your character. Just don't give in to all the bull that you hear in the world. What really matters is that you're happy with yourself, and the only way to be happy with yourself is to just not care... You know what? I got used to it because I know that people are struggling with that same problem. That's the message I want to get across to people. It's that, like, be yourself and have a good time, and like, you know, who cares what the bullies say about you... If I could say anything to the people that are watching this right now, or listening to my music for the first time, or anything like that, I would probably say that I just want you guys to know how important that you actually are. I just want people to know that. Be stupid, be dumb, be funny. If that's who you are, don't try to be someone that society wants you to be. That's stupid. So be yourself." Goals achieved, accomplished and fulfilled. Congratulations. Your whole life was very worth living and you couldn't have lived it any better. I'm so proud of you.

Your go-to coffee order was Starbucks, grande or venti, iced hazelnut macchiato, or caramel, but preferably hazelnut. I've never ordered at Starbucks before, but I'll give it a try someday. When I'm employed and have money in my wallet and bank accounts. Please pray for me and my job-seeking adventure.

You really liked thriller and horror movies, but you thought you shouldn't, because you always liked the chills about it but not the really not good plotlines. I'm a horror enthusiast too, just so you know, especially for the really bad plots. You suggested "The Pact", calling it a really good fright. I promise you, I will not watch anything until I get my hands on "The Pact". Except your videos, of course. I wanna watch all of them, all over again.

You had this really bad habit since a little girl where you'd bite the heck out of your nails. and you didn't know why, it just happened. Hey, two for two! I'm a nailbiter too.

Writing and talking to you has been very therapeutic thus far. I'm no longer feeling as bad as I was over the past few days. You'd want me to move on and smile, right? So I will.

An update on Kevin. Apparently he had hair transplants, Lasik eye surgery and even went vegan to lose weight, all to win your affection and someday marry you. Then his co-workers teased him, telling him you already had a boyfriend, using your Instagram posts with your producer, Stephen Rezza. So turns out it is the good old "if I can't have you, no one will" thing. I still don't understand how this all happened. You know, let's not talk about this.

You'd rather control traffic than weather, and you'd rather be able to teleport than to breathe underwater. Had to beat the LA traffic, eh?

"When you're happy, that's when you know you believe in something and you know you've stood for something."

You'd rather go back in time and move time backwards because you don't wanna ruin anything for the future. Oh, how I wish we could.

You'd rather give up your cell phone than your car.

Is it obvious that I am watching random interviews, picking random bits out of them and trying to drag this talk, when I have absolutely nothing else to talk about?

I want to talk to you forever. I don't want this to end. I've been typing this for days and I've still got a lot left to say to you, but I'm at a loss for words now. I never got the chance to talk to you, and I don't know if I will ever get another chance to. Please, I don't want this to end.

This is ending, isn't it?

Okay, final words.

I am wholeheartedly sorry if I am making this more of my own tragedy rather than yours. I don't know, this whole thing is hitting me so hard. I have been saying that over and over again, but only for the lack of better words. I never realized how close two persons could emotionally connect only through a camera lens and a 14-inch monitor. Honestly, I wasn't following you that closely by the time you left us. Now I see that you hadn't been uploading covers since New Year's Eve, minus that Before You Exit collab last month, which I probably missed its notification back then, so that explains a bit. You have been more than a wonderful role model for me. You and your videos and your music were there both in my darkest and brightest hours. You mean (present tense, see?) so much to me.

I was wondering for days, about how losing someone who had never even met me could affect me this much, and now I see it. You were not just a musician, a singer, an artist and an inspiration. You were my friend. You still are, and you will always and forever be. And not just mine. You've probably touched, like, all the 3 million plus Youtube subscribers the way you've touched me, and you should be proud of that. And as much as we all love you, God is loving, and He loves you more than any of us. He must have planned something very special for all of us, and who are we to doubt Him?

"Sometimes God allows terrible things to happen in your life and you don't know why. But that doesn't mean you should stop trusting Him."

Will I ever get to meet you? Will I ever get to talk to you again? I don't know, but I know and I fully understand that you might not be hearing and listening to all these words I just wrote. I know. It's just make believe. And that's how faith sparks. From making believe, to truly believing. I'm just letting you be the catalyst for me finding my faith again, just like you were years ago. One more time. One last time. Thank you for being my angel, one last time.

I've learnt so much from what happened this past weekend. I take things, a lot of them, for granted. Everything here in this world is not mine, and it's not permanent. It's temporary, and one day, sooner or later, God will either claim it back, or claim me back. I need to drop my ego. Not just with the people around me, from friends to families, but also with Him. When was the last time I turned to my mother and told him that I love him, and that I appreciate everything that he's been and done for me? My father? My big bro? Or God? I often have trouble showing appreciation to those I appreciate most. I missed my time with Christina, but I still have time to do this with everyone else.

My main goal in my life right now is to get a job and give back to those near me. Then I will do my best to travel and seek my friends and family and even my idols, and tell them right in their faces, "Hey, I appreciate you," all while rebuilding and reclaiming my faith to God. This will be tough, but people are not born strong. People grow stronger, little by little, encountering difficult situations and not running away from them. I'm not perfect, but I believe faith will really take me far in this world.

We are a short few hours away from Christina Victoria Grimmie's funeral.

My thoughts are with the Grimmie family in these grieving times. Christina, although you left way too soon, you have done so much more than I would ever have done in even triple the time. My heart and mind still go out to you for the time being, and my thoughts and prayers will always be with you. You either get some well-deserved rest or you watch over me, you silly goofball. Rawwk in peace and power. \|/

Yur somewhat rawwkworthy frand,
\|/ Noorel Yaqin \|/

Finally, my long-awaited attempt to imitate your video outro.

BYE!!

*dramatic beats*

Thursday, January 30, 2014

"Ain't It Fun"

Check out Paramore's latest music video, "Ain't It Fun"! One music video, 10 world records! (You can also visit their official website by clicking on their band name above. See how convenient my blog is?)



- Fastest time to smash 30 clocks with guitars: Paramore - 31.33 seconds.
- Most feathers caught in 30 seconds: Jeremy Davis - 18 feathers.
- Most vinyl records broken in one minute: Paramore - 58 records.
- Longest time spinning record on finger: Taylor York - 32.81 seconds.
- Fastest time to run through 10 banners: Paramore - 9.19 seconds.
- Most cartwheels in 20 seconds while wearing boots: Hayley Williams - 7 cartwheels.
- Fastest time to run backwards holding stuffed animals while blindfolded for 30 feet: Taylor York - 6.14 seconds.
- Fastest time to unwrap a mummy: Paramore - 9.75 seconds.
- Longest scream while riding in a convertible: Hayley Williams - 8.48 seconds.
- Most world records set in a music video: Paramore - Ain't It Fun - 10 world records!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Frictional Blog 24 [The 4th Annual Thank You Edition]

BAAAMM!!!

And just like the previous 23 Frictional Blog posts, we kick off with a bang. Booya! Well, happy new year everybody, and welcome to the 4th (that's "fourth", for those of you who, for reasons uncertain, couldn't read numbers or whatnot) annual "Thank You" edition of the Frictional Blog baby! As a side note, if you will, this is my 24th Frictional Blog and, overall, my 41st post. Just saying. Now, take your boarding pass and come and join me as we take a ride through ten entities whose support and help I'm most thankful for this year. Shall we? [Author's Note: I'm not good at writing speeches, let alone a "Thank You" list, so bear with me...]

#1 – Allah swt (God). Self-explanatory, but nonetheless, I'm super thankful for all my many blessings, strengths, and for all the weaknesses You gave me not only in 2013, but throughout my whole life, which motivated and are still motivating me to grow and better myself. For another year worth of oxygen that kept the spark of my life glowing. Seriously, there's so much that You have given me for over the past 20 years that I couldn't finish typing this sentence without having all these small drops of tears hanging by the corner of my eyes. I could never thank and love you enough, but for all these reasons and a whole lot more, I thank You, and I love You.

#2 – My family. My mother, my father, my big brother, my late sister, my uncles, aunts, cousins (an extra "thank you" for Lisha, Bob and Haikal for making my 2013 Aidilfitri the best one ever… so far) and any and every single one of my family members. It's not cool to be alone, and you guys prevented loneliness from illuminating me, and for that I thank you all.

#3 – My lecturers. And the list keeps on growing. Hahaha. There are too many names to be listed, and quite frankly, most I'm unable to recount at the moment, therefore I decided to just mention them by the subjects they were/are teaching me. I'd like to amount bunches of gratitude, and then some, to those who have been teaching and lecturing me throughout 2013 on Calculus, Linear Algebra, Statistics, Operational Research, Numerical Method, Basic Economics, Insurance and Takaful, Self-Development and two subjects that I beg and pray to God to never have to take again (hahaha. But seriously, please God), Human and Nature, and Asian and Islamic Civilizations. Also for all the teachers and lecturers who have been helping me since I was a seven-year-old newbie, I sincerely thank you for contributing in my development. Without all of you, I'd definitely not be one of, if not, the best in the world at what I do. But then again, what do I do?

#4 – My friends. Dropping each and every single one of your names here would take a lifetime and a half, if I decide to do so. So I won't. Hahaha. But that's the truth. I have a lot of friends, and this year I've made (and lost, but this is a "Thank You" list, so that's another topic for another blog post) a whole lot more to the bunch, and each of you have been playing a massive role in my 2013. So yeah, thank you. I love each and every single one of you. I'm just writing random words right now, because this passage looked too short and you guys probably won't think it's fair. There. Long enough, I guess. Hahaha. Hey, thanks again!

#5 – Vince McMahon and the WWE. I've been watching since I was three, and now it seems impossible to pull myself away from your product. So I thank you for not making me regret my decision to stick and stand up with your company. Thanks to Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) for providing me with some of my favourite moments of 2013, including his matches that are always superb, his ridiculously funny skits with Kane (and Dr. Shelby!) as Team Hell No and of course, his WWE Championship victories, among many more. So talented. Very entertaining. I wish I can be half the man that he is (I guess I’ll have to wait until I grow my beard first), and he is a living proof that hard work and dedication can be ridiculously rewarding. Thanks to CM Punk (Phillip Brooks) for your exciting matches and for being an awesome straight edge role model. I mean, this guy cracked his skull and still refused to use any form of drugs. I'm not that strong, but I wish I could be, and he keeps on pushing me to be. Thanks to AJ Lee (April Mendez) for, well, being AJ Lee. Hahaha. For personifying the second W and the E in the WWE Divas division. The only reason for me to watch a Divas segment/bout. Also thanks to Antonio Cesaro, all three members of The Shield, Big E Langston, Cody Rhodes, Goldust (the comeback kid! He still got it), Dolph Ziggler, Wade "Bad News" Barrett, William Regal (he sent me best wishes on my 20th birthday!), Sami Zayn, Paige, Emma and the rest of the roster, staffs and crews. I'll always stand up for and with the WWE.

#6 – Paramore. Hayley Nichole Williams, Jeremy Clayton Davis and Taylor Benjamin York, for providing me (for being, actually) an escape route from reality. And for that awesome concert earlier this year! I will never forget that moment when my #1 celebrity crush EVER pointed her finger towards me, smiled, chuckled and beautifully stood (not really. She was jumping and hopping and headbanging and rolling and lying and so much more) in front of me. Jeremy did, too, I remember! Taylor was at the other side of the stage, so we didn't interact much. Happy belated birthday to Hayley! She turned 25 on the past 27. Oh, congratulations Jeremy for both your marriage and your baby girl. We're having a Parababy! I love you guys. Thanks a lot. You constantly push me forward whenever I'm stationary. I can never ever repay you. I forever am grateful for you. And after all this time, I'm still into you guys. (honorable mentions: the Farro brothers, Josh and Zac. Once you're in the Parafamily, you'll never leave)

#7 – Hani, Razik and Azra. Why? Just because. Hahaha. Nahh. This could be long, so be ready.

First of all, thank you guys for being really nice, kind, polite, respectful and every other adjective that can possibly be used to describe how you guys have been toward me. Which is what I've been saying to you guys ever since I started helping you guys out. Hahaha. Now, I'd like to share a secret with all you readers. Yes, I'm not fond to the idea of sharing my life secrets to everyone but my closest friends and family members, but then again, that's the exact reason I created this blog.

Well, long time readers (which are non-existent, by the way) should know that I have been in only one relationship in my whole life with she-who-shall-not-be-named (maybe I should refer to her as Lord Voldermort or Chris Benoit hereafter, eh? Ah screw it, her name is Siti Zuliana), and I have been totally devastated following my break-up with her. Ughh. But I'm okay now, thanks to my best friend who has loosened up all the knots that were tying me to the bottom of the blackest hole I've been in. Yet no matter how far I'd risen above the worst moment of my life, there's still a feeling that has long been lost from me. I lost my urge to teach. I had even promised my mother to never teach anyone again. Why? Simply put, she committed one of the worst ungrateful acts I have ever been put under, but that's another story for another day. This is a "Thank You" post, not a "Hate is a strong word but I really don't like you" session.

See, the thing is, I never really put 100% on teaching my friends ever since post-SPM. Nope, not even 50%. The reason? The exact same reason as to why I felt reluctant in claiming the profession "lecturer" or "teacher" as my main goal, my ambition in life. I don't want to create a whole new generation of ingrates. I can't afford it. My urge to teach was killed by the ungratefulness of a person who I deemed to be the closest to me. I chose helping myself instead of helping others. Then I met you guys.

My biggest problem in life is that regardless of the fact that some people couldn't care less about me, I care too much about them. I never thought it would be a blessing in disguise. Our juniors were giving Zafree a hard time (Zafree won't admit it, but oh yes they were), so I decided to relief him by offering my help in C++ to the juniors. I remember one day, I randomly asked Razik about his studies and he said he had some problems understanding C++. I just couldn't help but to offer my help (look at the overusage of the word "help" in this sentence. Hahaha. Oh wait, you're not laughing. Am I the only one laughing?). So I invited him to the PTSL, and he invited Hani along. And I went on to teach them a thing or two. I don't know why, but their personalities made me somehow attracted to teach them more and more. Their kindness. The respect they showed me. All the "sorry"s and "thank you"s. Their courteousness is ridiculous. It's somewhat addictive.

Now instead of them wanting to ask for my help, it is I who am eagerly looking for any chance to teach them again. The same feeling that I used to feel when my mother was giving tuition to my friends back when I was young. The same feeling that I was feeling when I told my Form 2 and 3 friends to never be lazy and do well in their exams (I also told them to leave all the bad things for me. Hahaha. Worst role model ever). The same feeling that I lost some time before I got my SPM results. I have once again found my urge to help others in their education. And by God, I'm telling you, it just feels so good. No blasphemy intended.

So yeah, I thank all of you for allowing me to help you. I cherish those times very dearly, and I cherish your existences just as dearly as those times. I love you guys so much. I love you all like you're a huge part of my family. I love you guys much more than I can tell how much I love you. I'm sorry for every single solitary one of my wrongdoings. I may have taught you guys a tad tiny little bit on C++, but you guys have indirectly taught me a lot more on life, and for that I thank you all. I had a lot of fun and felt very comfortable being around you guys and being able to somewhat help you guys. Go achieve your dreams, because I know for a given fact that you guys can. Here's to an awesome friendship.

#8 – Zafree and Faris. Or Zapzapus and Farisuk, as I like to call them. For being my best friends in the UKM. These guys know me like I'm the back of their respective hands. They understand me. And nobody in the UKM understands me. Nobody but them. They have been guiding me throughout the year and I could never repay them, ever. It's ridiculous. I don't really know what to say about them, but if I am to say anything about them, it would all be kind and nice, because that's how they have been toward me. They are crazy – CRAZY! They pushed me like no one does – they made me want to be as good as, or better than them – yet at the same time we played games, ate and basically wasted our times together. Faris is a great guy who I can talk to at any time and feel better, although I may not agree with most of the solutions he suggested. Zafree, on the other hand, is a gamer. Hahaha. Video games are to Zafree what pro wrestling is to me. And he taught me a lot about games. And he taught me a huge lesson in life, which is to chase what I'm interested in. He's really good in maths (not taking anything away from Faris), and I'd sit next to him in the very front row of the lecture hall every time just because a) I could correct every single mistake he made then and there and feel very accomplished in my life (hahaha), and b) I feel more motivated to learn things and gather knowledge with him by my side. But then again, he'd probably be uninterested with what's happening at the front and focus more on his mobile phones and 3DSes. Hahaha. They are arguably (but I won't argue. Oh hell no) my two best coursemates. I'm jealous. Hoorah? These two are my closest friends over here. We are like the Bermuda triangle – we're unapproachable. Well not really, but that is a really cool simile, so I decided to use it anyways. I love you guys like two irremovable pieces of Velcro – no homo.

#9 – My best friend ever. Nisa! She's my personal Facebook wall - my personal counselling centre. She's the truest, purest personification of a friend. Back in KMNS, she ridiculously flipped my life upside down, and I am forever grateful for that. I may never be able to thank her enough. Even if I help her nonstop for 100 straight years, I may never be able to help her as much as she helped me throughout our friendship, regardless of the number of English words I translated for her in 2013. Hahaha. Truth be told, I have recently reached the greatest level of laziness I've ever been on. All sorts of fear randomly popped in my bodily being. Yes, I talked to Faris and Zafree and they helped me in controlling my anger towards myself. Then all of a sudden she sent me one of the most motivating texts I have ever read. I'd type it here, but then I'd have to translate that text, and although time is all I have and I have all of the time in the world and a half, I don't really have time to do it. Truth be told, you are 100 times a better human being than I could ever be, so I thank you so much for even considering being a friend of mine. I may not be your best friend, but you certainly are mine. I will forever and always love you as the best friend I ever had, and the sister I never. I wish the best for you and your future endeavours. So yeah, thank you so much. Looking forward to see you and the whole S1CP7 again, hopefully real soon.

#10 – Me! Always saving the best for the last, eh? Hahaha. Thank you for being good to yourself. For not drinking Pepsi for... wait for it... 15 STRAIGHT MONTHS BAYBEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! For not trying cigarettes, alcohols or any of those weird shiznits. I'm gonna be straight edge for my whole life! For being myself, standing on my two feet. Despite all the challenges thrown against me. Despite all the backstabbing and facecrushing moments throughout the year. Despite almost losing the ability to stand and walk when I was 7, and a whole lot other times thereafter. Despite being loved and hated for all my life. Yup, as always, I copied my last year's self-dedicated "thank you" wish. It's my blog, so deal with it. Hahaha.


And on that note, we've reached the end of my 2013 gratitude board! Hope to write (type) to you guys again real soon and more often. Sorry if this post doesn't meet your expectations. You know what? I think I'm not sorry at all. Yup, I'll do it all over again next year. *insert a smiley here* Thanks for reading! I love you guys with all my heart! Until next time. Make sure you'll be there.

All of the Glory be to Allah swt.
Faith. Follow that.
Frictional Blog. 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Frictional Blog 23 [The Most Memorable Moments of 2013 (a.k.a The Comeback) Edition]

BAAAMM!!!

I'm back, and better than ever! Welcome to Frictional Blog 23! First and foremost, I'd like to humbly apologize for not blogging more often. But then again, who am I apologizing to? Nobody knows the existence of this blog, let alone re... Oh wait. I NOW HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS! HAHA! Two small steps for a human, two giant leaps for yours truly! Anyway, I'd also like to thank you for clicking on the link leading to this blog. I mean come on, your time is wayyyyy too precious to be spent here. No wait, don't click away! Now, in this post, I'd like to recall some of the ridiculously great events occurred throughout 2013 that I deem to be personally memorable, so I decided it would be best for me to etch it in FB23 so that if one day I can't remember a single thing, at least these moments are still with me.

2013 is one of my favorite years I've lived thus far. It was fun, happening, triumphant, challenging, and hopeful. Thanks to everyone who made this year what it is to me personally. But I'm not here to show my gratitude today. Oh no, that's another story for another day (FB24, perhaps? Oh, just saying that I'll post it by December 31st. It's the annual "Thank You" edition, so mark your calendars). I got some wonderful ideas floating around in my head for a while now, and I thought if I ever am going to post them, then today would probably be a nice day to do that. So here are 5 ("five", if, for an uncertain reason, you don't read numbers) moments or memories from this year that I know I will never ever forget. In no particular order, of course.

2013 ACM-ICPC Malaysia Al-Khawarizmi National Programming Contest. Yeah, I know. What in the blue hell is an ABC-DEFG-HIJKL ACM-ICPC? Well, ACM stands for "Association for Computing Machinery", while ICPC is "International Collegiate Programming Contest". Now it sounds cool, right? No? Ah shut up.With only the basics (possibly and probably even less) of computer programming skills, I joined this competition. My teammates? One of them joined with only the basics of programming skills, just like me. The other one, with none at all. With the slightest hope of solving only one of the ten problems throughout the allocated five hours, I sat on the provided office-ish chair and spun myself round and round while my mates stared at me as if I was one of the most bored individuals, if not the most bored individual in the world at that very moment. And I probably was. 

Ladies and gentlemen, a bunch of rookies representing the UKM known as the Nexus (I hope Wade Barrett, Vince McMahon and the whole WWE are not suing me for copyright infringement) has solved three problems and ranked 13th out of all 53 participating groups, subsequently getting themselves an honourable mention in the 2013 ACM-ICPC Malaysia Al-Khawarizmi National Programming Contest. Yeah baby! Woo! My friends got better rankings than me, but who cares? #13, Honorable Mentions, woohoo! Congrats to Ideen and his Integral teammates, who ranked #10 if I'm not mistaken. The guy who persuaded me to join this contest, Zafree (personally referred to as Zap, Zapzap, Zapzapus and many other ridiculous nicknames) and his whole CariMakan team were the stars of this competition though. They answered four questions, and they were the first to answer all of those questions correctly. Hell, they were the ones who got the first "YES"! You guys should be there and join me laughing out loud as the Honorable Mentions slideshow flashed the name CariMakan on the big projector screen. At one point, the whole screen was filled with CariMakan, it's absurdly ridiculous! They owned the competition! However, they just ranked #3. But that was an awesome achievement nevertheless, and I congratulate them for that. And thanks Zap for inviting me to join you guys there. Hey, now that we're at it, you've helped me so much this year, so thanks Zap (expect more "thank you"s for Zafree on my next post)! I'd give you a friendly hug and kiss you in your forehead, but nope, maybe not. Hahaha. I love you - no homo. Priceless experience.

The return of Paramore, LIVE in Kuala Lumpur. February 17th, 2013. I'll never forget the date. I was there when they came the first time (October 19th, 2010), and I was surely pleased to be there on their homecoming. 

Paramore was at Stadium Negara. My brother and I were there too. We were the only ones who were jumping off the cheapest seats during the opening act by MewithoutYou, so the security guards told us to jump off the balcony and slip through the guard rail into the Rock Zone. I jumped up and down the whole show. Jeremy, Taylor and most importantly Hayley were feet from me. Jeremy pointed and laughed at me throughout the show. Hayley stuck her tongue at me between the first verse and chorus of Misery Business, after I made a heart sign with my fingers at her (cheesy, I know. but it's Hayley Nichole Williams, so that justifies it).

That night was surreal. That night was awesome. 
It surely was a temporary escape from reality. Hayley seems extra-beautiful when she's standing right in front of you. My #1 celebrity crush, hands down. I love her. I thank God for this wonderful experience. 

I even posted a blog entry on this concert, so why don't you guys check Frictional Blog 22 [The Paramore Experience Edition] out if you guys have an ample amount of free time? As I am typing this, FB22 is still my second most viewed blog post ever. 

Teaching my juniors some computer programming. What? How? Why in the blue hell is this being referred to as one of my most memorable moments of 2013? Here's why. The juniors I was referring to were Razik and Hani (and sometimes Azra), and this set of ridiculously respectful teenagers is simply two of the kindest people I have ever met. Period.

There is no specific date for this occurrence. I taught them in numerous occasions, and believe me when I say this - I will never forget each and every single solitary moment of being around them. They really wanted to learn and understand more, and it really eased me. They were (and still are, and by God I hope and wish will always be) very nice, kind, polite, respectful and many other positive adjectives that I can't think of right now, and it super-duper-ultra-hyper-mega-giga-kilo-tera eased me. Sometimes it entertained me too. But most of the time, it humbled me. It made me aware of how rude I am. Oh, and you might never know how pleasing it is when they understood and appreciate what I were teaching, telling, sharing, guiding and helping them on. One of the best feelings ever. They made me want to be an educator more than everything else in this world. 

I have a lot of things to say to these two, but I always couldn't really separate them from the huge mess in my brain and spit them out of my mouth. I don't know why, but I always have the urge to motivate them the way my best friend motivated me, although I know I probably can't. I mean, how is one of the most unmotivated man known to mankind going to motivate others? This fact actually motivates me. Hahaha (you may not be able to hear me right now, but I am screaming "What the hell am I saying?"). 

I wholeheartedly am sorry for every wrong I do, did and will ever do to you guys. I hope you guys do well not only in C++, but in every other subject as well. You have a lot of potential, and I really hope that you'll will reach the highest of heights someday in your lives. I love both of you like you're my own younger brother/sister, and I don't have any younger brothers/sisters, so you can consider that a huge accomplishment, I suppose? Hahaha. But seriously, I honestly love you guys. I thank you both for giving me the opportunity to help. Thanks for bringing this feeling to me again - a feeling that I have not felt, not since post-SPM. What feeling? Well, that's another story for another day (a Frictional Blog 24 cheap plug is imminent here, don't you think? It'll be the 4th annual "Thank You" edition, so don't you guys miss it. December 31st).

Daniel Bryan defeating John Cena for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam. Those who know me also know that I'm one huge - HUGE - wrestling fan. Hence, it is a given that this is one of my favorite moments is sports and entertainment history. Daniel Bryan vs John Cena, with Triple H as the special guest referee and the WWE Championship on the line.

The match was fun, emotional, back and forth, to and fro. Those saying that John Cena is a bad wrestler were silenced. Those saying that Daniel Bryan is the best damn technical wrester in the world today were chanting "YES! YES! YES!" all night (day, local time) long, me not excluded. I have been supporting both the performer Daniel Bryan and the human being Bryan Danielson as soon as I heard that he was a participant of the first season of WWE NXT. I've heard so much about him, and after some research, I just can't help but to pour every ounce of respect and love for Bryan. From wrestling in high school gymnasiums in front of 13 people to performing in stadiums and arenas in front of thousands of attendance, regardless of a dislocated shoulder or a busted eye socket, he has wrestled and outwrestled his way through his adversaries, and now look where he is today. A WWE Champion. I was watching this live via an online stream (I can't afford buying it on PPV. I'm a student, for God's sake) and was legit shocked when he pinned Cena after the running single leg high knee (made famous by Kenta, who calls it the Busaiku Knee Kick) for a three-count. I'm not going to lie, I shed some tears. Manly tears.

Daniel Bryan is a living proof that hard work and dedication WILL lead to success, and I was greatly motivated and moved by this event. Such a beautiful scenery to witness, as the crowd were chanting "YES! YES! YES!" along with Daniel Bryan with the gold in his grasp. He even thanked his parents off-microphone, but into the camera so you can still hear it although not very loud as he celebrated while confetti and fireworks are filling the arena. However, his title reign was cut short a few minutes later when Triple H performed a Pedigree on him, allowing Randy Orton to cash in his Money in the Bank contract and pin Bryan to become the new champion. And again, I shed some MANLY tears, this time in sadness and sorrow. 

Aidilfitri 2013. I need to start studying now because my final exam is coming, so I'll keep this one short and sweet. This is my best Aidilfitri ever. With my cousins Lisha, Bob and Haikal, we had the greatest amount of fun we, or at least I, have ever had. If only I could spend every 1st of Syawal like this. I'd be the happiest person in the world. We did so much together and we had so much fun that I don't think I can type each and every single thing we did here without cramping my hands and my whole body. I have never felt as blessed as this day, and every single day thereafter I have been thanking God for this wonderful huge family I was born into. 

And that's it! Thank you for your ever-so-precious time. Honestly, you could have spent it anywhere else and gained more out of it, but you are here, so I am really grateful. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. And if you haven't, you can add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter to hopefully hear more from me - I'd love to hear from you guys too! So yeah, thank you, and see you guys in two days, as we're (you're not? At least I am) anticipating my fourth annual "Thank You" edition of Frictional Blog. I love you guys. Until next time. Make sure you'll be there.

All of the Glory be to Allah swt.
Faith. Follow that.
Frictional Blog.